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I have to stop here and talk about my feelings about this geriatrician. I hired this doctor to take care of my father after being recommended by others, but first of all, I should realize that she is a member of the Boston medical team. She always throws her duties to other colleagues in the back of the city, but I know very well that if my father is serious enough to have to be hospitalized, he can still get the treatment he needs.
However, it is difficult for her to communicate directly with her for a long time, and the long delay makes me angry, which makes Sylvia Julia even more furious. 1 Compared with my mother, the doctor is almost the busiest and most popular doctor in the city, but she can almost always respond quickly. When Sylvia recognizes that her mother needs to be examined, I will call her doctor more often. Sylvia will call him personally. She says that he is very busy when he receives the message, and he will always call her back before leaving the office that day.
In general, he is completely different from my father, the doctor, and other patients in my office have to deal with it. Even when the doctor answered, he didn’t seem to care about Sylvia’s worries. When Sylvia asked her to give her father a flu vaccine when the weather turned cold, the doctor said that she didn’t think it was necessary. She also said that she didn’t receive the vaccine because Sylvia’s children and grandchildren had just received the flu vaccine. She completely accepted this statement, but she chose to call my mother’s attending doctor instead of pestering the doctor when the waves continued.
It’s necessary. Mother’s attending doctor advised Sylvia to bring him in front of my office early in the morning.
It’s a pity that he can’t become a father doctor, but the point is that Sylvia’s common sense is sensitive enough to get her father the necessary help.
I also encountered a more complicated thing when fighting with my father’s doctor, because I will explain it in more detail later. In short, I refused to sign a document named DNR to give up rescue. For people of my father’s age and his physical and mental conditions, most medical care generations would agree to sign such a document, but I insisted that my father should be rescued when he was admitted to the hospital. After I emphasized this point with my father, the doctor seemed to accept this strategy, but she still told me about his feelings. As far as patients are concerned, this kind of practice is very rare, which bothers me. It is not a special old man who says that medical workers think my wishes are very rare and even inappropriate. For me, the problem lies in the fact that all major problems are almost a rigid way to reach.
I mean, the doctor also takes care of his father. When others talk to me about his father, they always say something like a cliche, which reminds me of topics such as the quality of life relative to the value of life in the dictionary. The way they talk also makes me believe that they regard themselves as family members or experts in the field of life and death. However, I don’t think they have legal rights in this. Besides, in some cases, their self-recognition in a lofty moral position can decide not to continue someone’s life. I feel very uneasy, but their idea may be a conscious or semi-conscious response aimed at adjusting professional ethics. The economic situation of medical care has an increasing impact on American medical priority and a wider range of economic values
As to whether my father can still bring me even a little satisfaction in my life, I think his doctors should be like pediatricians, rather than adopting the treatment methods that pediatricians will adopt when facing a child who may be suffering from neurological impairment. I don’t have to wait until I am forced to beg them to take protective measures for my father diligently and actively. Compared with those doctors who may have a consultation for less than half an hour, I actually rely more on Sylvia Julia for my own perception.
In this respect, I think it will always bring a sense of strength to Falk. Although the doctor does not openly resist, he is passive and procrastinating. This is your suggestion and you have to be firm. I can agree with the fact that this is the information I got. However, even if we have reached an agreement on the treatment plan in a certain field, the problem will still appear when we encounter different situations.
At the same time, it makes things more complicated, and I will never be sure or at least no longer doubt whether my anger at my father’s doctor will distract me from another angle that is completely different and my father is actually healthy. To some extent, I know that my selfish motives may harm me in making those decisions. I guess many people who share my position may not understand it. I don’t want my father to die like this because I can’t imagine what the world would be like without him. Although he often reacts and his body is getting weaker, I still can’t get rid of that crazy idea. I still need him very much.
My father took care of him during his hospitalization. One of the doctors was a young and sensitive cardiologist. Although we didn’t talk much about it, she talked to me about my worries and said that her mother and grandmother were all doctors. After careful consideration, she wrote me a letter, in which she told me that she was in the same predicament at home. Her grandmother, we talked about it in a nurse a few feet away from her father’s ward.
We all have to face the same decision, that is, we need to make that decision in the face of your father’s situation. It’s unbelievable for me to make that decision. I said it’s unbelievable because there are so many doctors at home, and we still have to solve the problem of how to take care of our grandmother. Too many of us are not ready to give up. It’s too difficult to comb us instead of what she really wants.
That is to say, I enjoy my time with her very much. She is the wisest woman I have ever seen. Although she has finished her dementia, she is still very coherent and delusional for a while. This reminds me of my mother. Of course, she is not demented, but we can see that she will also indulge in her own coherent fantasies or, to put it more appropriately, her own illusions.
She went on to say that her grandmother’s fantasies usually took care of the ordinary details of her family rather than letting me get married and comb my hair. She said that her grandmother had sat in bed with her mobile phone in front of the hospital and tried to make another appointment for hairdressing. She has been obsessed with this. I know that you are experiencing similar things, and now I can understand this feeling better than ever.
When we meet again, we have to share our feelings on these issues more thoroughly. I used to compare the current situation of a geriatric care field, and I knew that other medical fields, including pediatrics, were in the current situation. So when we met again, I asked her if she had considered the priority of this issue. I said that from a purely economic point of view, I believe that I have been observing these phenomena, and it seems that I can show some evidence and become an absolute feature when evaluating the value of life. A child or a relatively young individual may have a rich life. For the economic order, a 98-year-old dementia neurologist is no longer of long-term value.
I told her that I couldn’t help thinking that a patient in my father’s situation is willing to lower the standard of medical care, which accurately reflects a unified value system. I realized in my own education that those terms that are related to the future well-being of the country are often not a measure of the standard of life. The most common term used by government agencies is the future productivity. If we treat these babies well now, they will all become taxpayers who contribute to the prosperity of the country one day, while the elderly patients will certainly be of no benefit to the prosperity of the country. They will sit there and consume the taxpayers’ wealth.
A doctor who thinks highly of his career and is selfish, she can’t bear to measure a patient’s social value from the perspective of economic value, and even more she doesn’t recognize that a doctor’s life-saving meaning should be influenced by this view. However, despite some reluctance, she still has to admit that it may be more difficult for doctors to fulfill these meanings because of the financial limitations of social structure allocation or the government’s strategic guidelines
She also noticed that doctors can achieve the root-seeking method in the field of geriatrics, and the salary level in this field is far lower than that in most other fields. She said that the result is that doctors who are similar to her age often take on huge loans, so not enough people will enter this field, so the number of geriatricians can’t meet the needs of the growing elderly population, and those doctors who remain in this field usually have to bear much more workload than other fields. She said Sylvia, the difficulties I met with my father’s doctor may also be explained by this.
I also asked another older doctor the same question. He told me that he thought her guess was true, but he advised me not to draw such a broad conclusion too soon, because doctors who are attracted to the field of geriatrics are often very sympathetic.
They should all be very private, and many people decide to enter this field after experiencing everything you are facing now, perhaps their parents or their grandparents are sick.
Then he also pointed out that the doctor in charge of taking care of my father might have to race against time to take on the operation before he often went to town or lost contact.
I asked if this was the case, wouldn’t it be better if she explained it to me clearly or recommended another doctor who was not so ambiguous?
Well, he replied, but no one, especially no doctor with other responsibilities, wants to give people the impression that they are meeting the needs of their patients. That would be an extremely bad and embarrassing concession. I say these words are suitable in the medical field
After saying so much, he told me that he thought that although I stubbornly insisted that my father should get the kind of care I thought he deserved, I actually didn’t choose this or that in this matter. I don’t regret saying anything that I regret because I pressured and pestered my father’s doctor. I wish I had been more cold-hearted
I need to say something about my father’s intensity and persistence. Although I know it may be difficult to understand, I really feel that we are closer today than when he was ill. I said before that the pressure of work would keep me away from my parents for a long time and I could visit them occasionally. But since my father was ill, I stayed with him as often as possible in the middle of the week. When I was with him in my childhood, I probably didn’t spend that long. I listened to him more carefully and observed his changing emotional expression. He was fleeting and happy. He was calm and relaxed than we were sitting on the balcony of a nursing home, while Scampy was lying at his feet.
I once said that I felt that I had gone through a journey with my father. When he was in a nursing home, he tried to search for words and wanted to express himself clearly. When we played guessing games, it was also part of this journey. We dug up a memory together, solved a puzzle, or continued to push forward in a maze of fun after being interrupted in the previous paragraph. It was all part of the journey, which did not hinder his thinking process and explored the mystery of thinking body. After these explorations, I felt that we were getting closer and closer, and on this basis, I also felt that my father had become connected. More direct and intimate, this change is almost beyond more than six years. My mother once said that more than six years ago, my father took me for a walk in the evening to seek some comfort when I was unhappy at work.
I didn’t stay with him in the nursing home for that long, but I kept myself away from his difficulties more thoroughly through industrial friendship and political activities. I visited him a few times regularly and limited. Maybe now I can look at his present situation from a distance or look at him with a compassionate eye, as if he was no longer my familiar father, but once a miniature of that father, but I have made changes in the selection method, so I look at him like that.
I was really shocked when I witnessed that the disease gradually took away my father’s clear mind and keen insight, which made him unable to continue to be a color doctor. However, my father’s talent and his ability to show in those fields failed to fully reflect what kind of person he was. He was born with charm, a sense of humor, and he was naughty when he teased Lucinda or tried to put his hand on Sylvia’s ass. The most important thing was that he chose to fight bravely and with dignity for a long time when he gradually surrounded the darkness. Therefore, for me, his father’s image was not damaged at all, and my admiration for him remained the same. Therefore, it
Sylvia Julia met with various difficulties when trying to contact her father, the doctor. We never know whether Julia said that the final answer from the office was based on our information. I mean, when we don’t know whether the doctor really got the information, they will say that the doctor hasn’t read the experimental report or we may wait for the answer, but we will contact you one day, and then the next day they may say that he really infected us with a prescription, but you can come and get it. However, whether the doctor really knows this matter, we can still make sure that we can press forward.
Hospitals and hospitals rarely show training in geriatrics. In addition, because they are almost at the bottom of the medical profession, many students are reluctant to set foot in this field for five years. According to the statistics of the American Geriatrics Association, every five elderly people over 65 can have one geriatrician for three years. This ratio may rise to one doctor for eight patients. new york Times, August 4, 9, compared with one year, there is one pediatrician for every 14 children. Data source: Dr. Dennis Rosen, new york Times, July 1, the elderly. The latest information technology research in medical care mainly comes from wwwaeriangeriaris, an American Geriatric Association, which publishes a monthly magazine JurnalfheAerianGeriariSiey. Although it is written by experts in this field, I find it helpful to understand the challenges faced by doctors engaged in geriatric medical programs and the strategies to increase the number of doctors in this field.
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Chapter 9 My father and mother accompany each other separately
Sylvia or Julia will stay with their parents almost every day and night for the rest of their lives. In rare cases, if they are away on weekends, Sylvia will find one or two helpers to take their place.
Among these other helpers, Alejandro’s wife is one of them. She was also a doctor in Cuba. Alejandro is a cardiologist. When his wife specializes in family medicine, Alejandro will stay here for an afternoon with her. But more often, he is just accompanying his father. At this time, Lucinda has become a practical nurse law and often visits his father in the apartment. Therefore, I am very grateful to Alejandro for trying to keep his father in touch and trying to keep him alert and flexible.
For the first two years after my father came home, he seemed to recognize me every time I went into the house before he got sleepy. When I kissed him, he would kiss me back. If he found it difficult to remember my name, I would lean over to his ear. Hi, Dad, it’s Jonathan. At this time, he would smile and grab my hand and stare at me deeply. His eyes seemed to be insightful about how much his memory was damaged.
Although he managed to talk about how long the conversation was a year ago, he was able to answer my questions bluntly, which surprised me. I had to be admitted to the hospital twice, and he had a drug that unfortunately made him have diarrhea for a week. When I asked him if he thought it was a stupid question, he gave me a very ugly expression and said that it was terrible.
When Julia Sylvia is alone, he always speaks in response to their friendly behavior. When he is with Sylvia, he may also speak to her and do something that makes him angry. Once when she was taking a bath for him, she said that he was very opposed to letting her clean her private parts. When talking about it, Julia often said that she was very familiar with her and suddenly forced him to fight with her in a rage.
You won’t succeed, he shouted at her.